October 4, 2013

A Tribute to My Dad- Allen Burdick...



It's a hard thing to talk about real life, real pain on a blog...  On September 27 2013 my precious Daddy, breathed his last breath of this world and started breathing the breath of heaven.... About an hour after I posted my last post, I found out that due to complications from a second stroke... I needed to rush to Montana and be by his side for his last days.... I made it, kissed his head... told him I loved him and it was ok to go.... to be free... With tears and my eyes  I just wanted him to be free of the pain and frustration of being wheelchair bound for almost 7 years. To run again, to see my brother who had passed away almost 32 years ago... To feel joy and life in deeper ways than I've ever known.... And yet, I didn't want to loose his hugs... his smile and laugh... hearing him call me "Hopie Celestial".... (my middle name is Celeste).

My dad's favorite movie was Chariot's of Fire... he watched it in 1982 soon after my brother (who was only 6 at the time) was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver... I was only about 6 weeks old... The movie  spoke to him of never giving up even when his grief was tangible and real, to run the race with purpose and conviction... I have many memories of my dad coming home after a discouraging day and putting on the movie and he was instantly encouraged.  My Dad believed in living out your dreams even if it wasn't the easiest route to take and not compromising character along the way... He an inspiration to me and his legacy is something that I cherish.... To this day the music from Chariots of Fire speaks to my heart and is a reminder of my dad... it might as well have been his story because to me he was always my hero, the one who could do anything...


"I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure." - Eric Liddell   Chariots of Fire....


It's a surreal feeling knowing that the man who kissed your face goodnight, cheered the loudest for you at soccer, buckled you in the car, held your hand to put you down for a nap and gave you away on your wedding day.... is gone... And yet I can say with absolute assurance that even in the middle of thick grief there is a real truth and hope... I'll see him again and everything is gonna be ok.... It's not a sugar coating, the grief is real and yet the hope is real too... With tears streaming down my face, missing his smile more than I can express, there is a soft sweet hope that wiggles it's way into your heart till all of a sudden, life that is ended  is not the end but only intermission and the real story the real life is only just begun....

My Dad, Allen H. Burdick June 29 1942- September 27 2013... 
I'll miss you forever but I'll see you again...