Life is Kickball...

Confession.. I've said no to things and opportunities because I thought I wouldn't be good at it... jaw on the floor... I mean, honestly... How does that get you where you want to go? It doesn't... Sometimes I think we are all just kids in our minds, playing the game of kickball and you hear in your head, "oh Hope is kicking, everybody move forward...' So to spare ourselves that kind of pain again or embarrassment we don't go for the dreams or opportunities that we really need in our life...

For me, I've avoided trying things or I quit too early because I'm not immediately good at it... Which, is total crap.. right? I mean we are meant to learn things, it's something that we are supposed to do..That it's ok to be smack in  the middle of a process, to try anyway..to dust your self off and go for it again.. Because at the end of the day, our worth is not defined by how successful our career is anything like that... We are amazing. Period.

The more we learn, the more we grow, the more we inspire others..The more I take risks, the more I can reach for things that normally would have seemed out of my reach... All we can do, is try our best and so what if you can't throw a pigeon clay and you're in front of a ton of people and they're all telling you how to do it and you may or may not start crying... true story that really happened... So what if you walk into a pole while waving hello to a guy... True story, that really happened... So what if you start singing in the wrong key.. on stage.. in front of your whole church...again that's really happened, more than once...

In life we are not guaranteed to avoid embarrassing moments or moments where we are really nervous to try something new.. but when we channel our inner Taylor Swift and "shake it off" we can really do amazing things.. if not for anyone else but ourselves..  That's me, that's where I'm at.. being brave, choosing to believe in myself and praying along the way.. That's all we can do right? Just go for it, you are amazing and you will rock this... So step up to that home plate, and kick that ball... kick it hard!

If I Were 22...

This picture was taken when I was 21 1/2.. apparently no pictures of me at 22 exist anymore.. probably for good reason..

If I could go back in time 10 years... I'd tell my little 22 year old self many things....  Here I am, freshly hired as a customer service representative for State Farm Insurance, I don't really have a clue about what a professional work environment looks like and because of stress I weighed under 100lbs.

• Don't show up to an interview wearing a Canadian Tuxedo... seriously jean jacket with jeans is never a good idea... big eye roll...
• You matter, even though you feel like you are just faking your way through life till you figure some things out, it's ok.. You matter and you'll figure it out.
• I know you think emo music is like "your jam" but trust me in a few short years from now even hearing Dashboard Confessional, you will roll your eyes.
• I know that freshly broken heart hurts, it really does.. and I know you thought that he was the one.. but TRUST ME, you will meet the most amazing man and you'll thank God that it didn't work out... 
• I know you doubt really if you are beautiful, you compare your self to many around you.... but let me tell you, you are beautiful... stunning on the inside and out.. 
• Loose the hip hugger jeans... 
• Wash your hands after applying sunless tanning lotion... trust me..
• Take care of your body, it won't always be this easy... 
•  Take your time figuring out who you are, things will change and there will be talents, dreams and hopes you discover along the way... there is no rush to define who you are right here right now... 
• Go easy on the glitter eye shadow..
• Just be honest, you don't really like Radiohead....
• You are kind... you are a great friend, you will make mistakes and when you do, be quick to fix it... 
• It takes a while to find your dream job, but working hard will always pay off... 
• Remember even when people you love hurt you, it's usually not about you.. it's about them.. Forgive them.. forgive them quickly and put people in your life that can remind you of the gift you are.. even if you forget...
• Lastly, I know it feels like this is all your life will be but I promise you... life will be so much bigger and so much better, than you ever dreamed... 

Alot can happen in 10 years, for me when I'm discouraged it's helpful to look back and see all that's changed in 10 years and then start to dream of all that is possible in the next 10... Congrats to all you graduates starting out on your adventures and to the rest of us.. keep going, it only gets better from here....

Taking Stock

This was inspired by Sydney of  The Daybook Blog... which she did inspired by Pip's blog and since imitation is the most sincere form of flattery I thought I'd give it a go... 

Making: A mess of my semi clean apartment... coming home from a weekend away means living out of a suitcase for a few more days than necessary... 

Cooking: Not as good as my husband, honestly.. he floors me with his cooking skills...

Drinking: Chamomile Tea... trying to limit the stress in my life... 

Reading: Currently nothing.. gasp! But I'm gonna be in a few days... gonna do a little Amazon Prime shopping... Heavenly!

Wanting: More sleep... after having company & then a weekend of a film festival I'm all tuckered out!

Looking: At my desk... it's a mess... 

Playing: You Make Me Brave album... it's on repeat... 

Wasting: Money on laundry... I don't want to talk about it...

Wishing: for a beach vacation with my amazing husband... that and a new purse..

Enjoying: My Vanilla Brown Sugar Scrub... yay for great skin!

Waiting: for my sugar craving to disappear... 

Liking: My freckles... and NYC Lipstick for $.99! 

Wondering: What's on Tv tonight...

Loving:  How my husband makes songs out of practically anything... 

Hoping: That I've finally solved my #houseplantkiller ways...  4 still ALIVE!!!

Marveling: At how fast the years are going by... We are in MAY ya'll!!! What the what??

Needing: A snazzy new office chair, you know that kind that says "I'm the boss"..

Smelling: Chicken soup on my desk...it's all gone.. :(

Wearing: White denim & stripes... aka my uniform...

Following: The Grumpy Cat on Instagram... life is now complete..

Noticing: That I probably need to give up sugar... again, I don't want to talk about it... 

Knowing: That everything happens in it's perfect timing... 

Thinking: about Peace... and chocolate cake... not to be confused with a piece of chocolate cake.. which now I'm thinking about...  

Feeling: tired, happy, loved & tired...

Bookmarking: YouTube tutorials on winged eyeliner & false lashes.. cuz ya know it's important...

Opening: up my overnight bag searching for clean clothes...

Giggling: At my husband.. gosh he makes me laugh... 

Feeling: So grateful... 

Champagne Thursday!!! On Tuesday...

photo source... French By Design Blog.

I realize it's been like a hundred years since I've blogged.. so sorry.. honestly real life doesn't understand that I've needed to get a blog post up for like ever... if "real life" was a friend.. I'd stop taking her calls instantly, she's so needy.... In other news.. I felt like it was HIGH TIME for a Champagne Thursday post! Yes, I know it's not Thursday... and no I do not care.. Thursday may come twice this week but it's the price I'm willing to pay...

•  Got to style my friend Trish who's made an amazing journey overcoming health issues and an eating disorder. Where she is now healthy, with a fantastic body image and that girl has muscles I only dream of..... It's a great day when I'm picking out styles that says, "here lets show off those muscles!" She is such an inspiration... See the Pinterest/inspiration board here of what I chose for Trish...

• Someone left homemade/still warm chocolate chip cookies on our doorstep addressed to us and note saying..."you guys are amazing"... gosh... no, THAT was amazing... I may or may not have had cookies for breakfast the next day... I regret NOTHING!!!

• Ordered these amazing sandals! Can you say excuse for a pedicure? I'm basically checking the tracking number like I'm obsessed, which I totally am...

• Found this amazing Wet 'n' Wild eye shadow at Walmart.. I'm in love... nothing like headed to the store for more toilet paper and walking out with things that wasn't on the list... 

• Had a fantastic brunch with a local stylist, Style By Malia here in Sonoma County... I tell ya, good things happen over Eggs Benedict & coffee...

• I have managed to keep 5 houseplants alive!!! Yup you heard me.. ALIVE... I feel so grownup... now if I could just manage to keep up the with house... baby steps... 

Cheers to all the tiny victories, special moments, somewhat mundane things and amazingly HUGE things.. Because honestly, there is always something to celebrate... even if it is just finding the best $3 eye shadow at Walmart...

Be The Leading Lady Of Your Life...

Be The Leading Lady Of Your Life...

Lately I must confess, I've been behaving like the "best friend"... I've been down on myself for lack of blog posts and lack of outfit pictures... we're getting real here folks! It's not for a lack of wanting, oh the desire has been there but find myself thinking thoughts like "get it together Hope".. and "can you really do this?" To which I say, "what the?" I've got a real grown up life going on and when that happens.. well.. sometimes the inspiration doesn't always flow.. ya know? But beyond that I've allowed myself to think about me not as the leading lady but someone who is off to the side... not cool.. 

It's not a good thought pattern and it sneaks in so quickly, in this world of beauty, trends and fashion statements those are all amazing but a complete waste if I'm not thinking of myself in the real light... a positive light...  "in the movies there is the best friend and a leading lady, you I can tell are a leading lady but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend..." 

It's true.. and when I realized this I'm inspired to change..has anything changed in my circumstances? Obviously not since there is a video up there and not pictures of me trying pose.. posing is hard work... however my attitude has gotten a nice swift kick in the behind... exactly what it needed... Everyday is a red carpet moment and wherever you go it is your runway... you are the leading lady of your life... and when you  believe it, others will too...  What do you do when you hear those thoughts that bring you down or say you aren't amazing? I have ignore it and listen to the voice that says "you're beautiful, you're amazing... you are strong and that when you smile it shakes the world... " That's the voice I have to listen to and if I can't hear it then I remember what I've heard before... because all it takes is just a second of quiet and you'll hear it.. that positive voice that says.. "You're amazing..." It's what completes any look and makes me be the most beautiful version of myself... that my friend is the necessary accessory to any outfit! 

Feel The Burn: Motivation & Procrastination..

Procrastination... it should be a skill... or like something you'd want to put on a resume'... I'm skilled in administrative duties, customer service and I excel in rolling over and hitting the snooze button.. For the last few weeks I've had a desire to go running... mostly because my dad used to and I think I want to give it a try.... however I've yet to put that motivation to good use and actually get myself on the road for a good run...

I'm one of those girls that gets excited about exercise because I can buy new workout gear.. I mean, I'm all about looking good and feeling good but come on? Who doesn't want another excuse for some sweet gear? That and making a good playlist... a girl can't workout without some tunes! I believe that a good workout/running mix needs to have the proper mix of good beats and embarrassing tunes from my childhood... fake cough Spice Girls... I honestly believe that if you can get out of bed in the morning then you're golden! However I've yet to master that... unless of course Starbucks is involved and then I'm out of bed with lightning speed.... for local readers if you see a 30 something woman sprinting to Starbucks you'll know I've figured out this whole procrastination thang... Oh the power of espresso & foam...

As for my "Feel the Burn" goals... well... lets just say it's still a goal and I haven't given up but it hasn't been easy... The most important thing I'm doing right now is being easy on myself.. My life has been nuts since I last posted a Feel the Burn post and I believe that in part of having a healthy lifestyle is knowing your limits... For me, I feel that maybe a good run once -twice a week is a good starting over place... Also have a healthy lifestyle is not taking yourself too seriously! And to that I'll confess that I've had this running mix for almost a year and I've yet to use it while running... there I said it... I also wonder how many of us buy yoga pants and actually use them for yoga..Deep thoughts today by yours truly...

Inspirational Thursday....

Today I had grand schemes of doing this wicked awesome fashionista post where we all "ooh and ahh" at all the pretties...Alas, it wasn't meant to be.. Instead this phrase was running through my head these last few days... We've all got dreams and aspirations and sometimes it just feels like the mountain of our dreams get larger and larger everyday... but don't worry... you're gonna make it.. and before you realize it, you're closer than ever before! A little Thursday inspiration for you... Keep chasing the dream!

Feel The Burn: Progress & Determination, It's Been One Month!

Posting not so flattering pics? I think I will!

You know that anxious feeling when you step on the scale and inside your praying "please be kind, please be kind" and you look down with one eye open?... well, yeah I had that moment a couple of days ago.. I stepped on the scale for the first time in like a month and it was...not amazing... OMG... I gained 2lbs?! What the? I was not happy.. and then the thoughts started in, you know the ones I'm talking about those pesky negative thoughts... "you know you didn't work hard enough, you'll never loose weight, just like every other time you try hard and nothing happens"... Total crap those thoughts... they only tear us down and deflate our hope and help us quit... not cool! Personally I'm trying to not listen those those negative thoughts, if it doesn't encourage me than I don't have time for it... sorry, soapbox moment..

I was trying to pick myself up from my disappointment when all of a sudden the thought occurred to me, maybe I gained muscle? Could it be? We all know muscle weighs more than fat... The only way to know for sure is to take measurements... so I did, last night.. and right before I did, I gave myself a little pep talk.. I do that alot..."no matter what, I wont be discouraged"... Well folks I did my measurements and whadda ya know? I lost 2 inches on my waist and 1/2 an inch on my arms! I'm so thrilled and going on every day you don't notice and any difference but posting these pics side by side, WOW!  The left side is the old, the right is after one month.. The last two are the most dramatic! I'm kinda sold on this whole measuring thing... it really does show the whole story... 

As for this next month, I'm going to start incorporating some diet changes and part of that is figuring out how to make it work for our lifestyle...  Honestly, I'm not sure how busy people eat healthy.. There are some days I get home from work so physically & mentally exhausted that prepping a for a super healthy "Paleo, veggie meal" sounds  impossible... I'm in complete awe of those ladies who can live a busy/healthy lifestyle and till mange to get sleep? They probably always fold their laundry on time, don't kill their houseplants and never spill coffee on their white jeans... Ahh, that would be the life...

If you have any tips or suggestions, let me know!    I'm determined to make this work... and just a little taste of progress is motivating! Thanks for your support! I couldn't do this without you!